"...the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a
long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the
roof.
There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and
when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying
every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever
to get out again." - Alice in Wonderland
"I have to know," said Alice, stubbing out her cigarette. "What
was behind all those locked doors lining the hall, after I went down the
rabbit hole, and the Rabbit disappeared on me? They couldn't all be
toilets."
Dr. Ludwig nodded, gazing at her intently, as though the answers to
her questions were to be found in her solemn, brooding face. Alice had
been coming to him for over a year now. Together they had been working
through that wonder-filled dream, yielding a rich mother lode of
insights.
"Why were they locked?" she went on. "Who locked them? What secrets were they hiding?"
"Remember, Alice, " he replied, "everything in our dreams is an
aspect of ourselves. So what does that bring up for you--locked doors?"
She fell silent, thinking. The minutes stretched out. She groped
for another cigarette, but he stopped her. "Don't smoke. Feel."
"I don't know what I feel," she said plaintively. He nodded and waited.
Finally she sighed, and he knew they were getting somewhere. "All
right," she said. "The locked doors are in me. They are doorways to
parts of me I don't like, or am afraid to express. So I've locked them
away." She paused to consider, and went on:
"Behind one door, I am like the White Rabbit--worrying, hurrying, fearful, social climber...behind another door, I'm the Queen of Hearts--intolerant, bossy, drama queen, ordering heads cut off. I've cut off friends when I was pissed at them." Alice looked down, shame flickering in her face. "Another door leads to the part of me that's like the Caterpillar--wanting to go deeper, to know 'who are you' beyond appearances. That's the problem I have with social media. I'd prefer Psychebook over Facebook!
"Behind one door, I am like the White Rabbit--worrying, hurrying, fearful, social climber...behind another door, I'm the Queen of Hearts--intolerant, bossy, drama queen, ordering heads cut off. I've cut off friends when I was pissed at them." Alice looked down, shame flickering in her face. "Another door leads to the part of me that's like the Caterpillar--wanting to go deeper, to know 'who are you' beyond appearances. That's the problem I have with social media. I'd prefer Psychebook over Facebook!
Behind another door, there's me as
Cheshire Cat. Sometimes I think I am the only one who understands we
are all mad here and the world is one big insane asylum! Still working
on the disappearing act. It would be so cool to just leave my grin.
That would really get people's attention!" She grinned at Dr. Budwig, and he chuckled.
She paused again, thinking, feeling. "All these personas sure make
the question of 'Who am I' a lot more complicated. Which is the real
me? Which is the real world? Is Wonderland my true home?"
Dr. Ludwig listened with rapt attention as she went on detailing
her insights. There was so much still to be uncovered. At each
session, he was all too willing to follow her down those rabbit holes,
to help her look for the keys to all those locked doors. He hadn't told
her, of course, but she was in fact inspiring him, more and more, to
unlock the doors of his own dreams, and explore the revelations
therein--like the dragon that reared up in his dream last night, so reminiscent of the Jabberwock. The
jaws that bite, the claws that catch...where was the snicker-snacking
vorpal sword when he needed it?
Lucid dreaming could be next. And some day, perhaps, they would finally figure out how a raven is like a writing desk...
